


beyond the veil

by nautilicious



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Astral Projection, Canon Compliant, Episode: s03e02 Red Paladin, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 06:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15431307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nautilicious/pseuds/nautilicious
Summary: Shiro doesn't realize he's dead, at first.





	beyond the veil

Shiro comes to consciousness slowly. Voltron is separated, broken apart by Zarkon's last attack, and Shiro's drifting on the edge of the battle. He hears Keith screaming in the comms, and that more than anything else snaps him to attention. This is their best chance to end Zarkon for good; he’s got to get back into the fight.

The motion of the bayard panel opening catches his eye. The Black Lion sends Shiro a tumble of images and emotions: Zarkon is distracted by the fight, inexperienced with his armor, and Black has found a weakness in his mental defenses. It can be exploited, but only if Shiro acts now. He must merge with Black deeper than he ever has before.

Black's presence fills him, the flood of starlight energy bringing a swirl of memories: when she welcomed him into the cockpit; when he first learned to see through her eyes; when she saved him from Zarkon in the astral realms. Her mind is warm and fierce and endless; she is so much more than he imagined, with deeper secrets not yet revealed.

Shiro surrenders himself to her mighty consciousness.

Black keeps him from being completely submerged, cradling his mind within her own. He's still himself, but barely, and she's so glorious that he doesn't mind at all. Her— _their_ —wings heat and glow, springing forth in a blaze of light and a triumphant roar. Black seizes the last psychic thread tying them to Zarkon and throws them through space, wings shining white with quintessence. They hurtle towards Zarkon's armored body, and Shiro braces for the clash of metal on metal and mind on mind.

Neither happens. Black focuses in a way Shiro hasn't felt before, and they phase simultaneously through Zarkon's armor and his twisted mind. Shiro instinctively reaches out, slips the black bayard from Zarkon's astral grasp, and then they're back in open space, the bayard solid in Shiro's physical hand. Black feels whole again, an old, aching wound healed at last.

"Whoa," Lance says. "What did you do?"

It takes Shiro a moment to figure out how to speak while merged so deeply with Black. "I've got Zarkon's bayard," he replies.

"You mean you've got your bayard," Keith says, his tone fond and proud. "We've only got a few minutes left before power returns to Zarkon's ship. Form Voltron!"

Shiro joins the other Paladins in the open, entwined Voltron state, the augmented, empathetic connection between them made richer as Black continues to overlay his perceptions. It's their last chance to finish it, and now that Shiro knows Coran and Allura are safe, he urges the team forward. Black, no longer tied to Zarkon, is just as eager as Shiro.

Voltron crashes into Zarkon, their sword stabbing into the midsection of Zakon's armor. It's not enough; they need to cut deep into the machinery, disable it; but before Shiro can react, a storm of purple lightning rages through Black's cockpit. It slams into Shiro, throwing him back into his seat. His muscles spasm. Heat races under his skin, radiating down his arms and legs. He can't scream because his teeth are locked together. Only Black's steady grip on his mind keeps him from passing out.

Black wants him to use the bayard, and it's the clearest he's ever understood her. She stands between him and the pain somehow, a huge, protective presence. Shiro remains aware of the constriction in his chest, the smell of ozone saturating the cockpit, but she's made it so he can ignore it. Even though he can barely see past the white spots in his vision, he forces his muscles to lock the bayard in place. Voltron's sword flames to life.

Shiro senses Keith through the Paladin bond, feels him thrust the sword forward. The energy of the team surrounds Shiro like a rainbow: Hunk's steadfastness like a wash of sunshine, the tide of Lance's quicksilver heart, the deep pulsing green of Pidge's rooted focus, and the hot, red intensity of Keith's willpower.

Voltron pulls the sword through Zarkon's armor, slicing through it.

Something tears in Shiro's mind as the sword draws free. Black snatches at Shiro frantically, ungraceful in her haste, and gathers him up. The world dissolves into darkness.

*

Shiro doesn’t realize he's dead, at first.

He’s been on the astral plane before, and he’s had moments of profound connection with Black before, too, though not like this. She is a steady, constant presence in his mind even though he must be in a healing pod by now. It will make them even more effective when he recovers. Maybe he can help the other Paladins deepen their connections with their Lions, too.

Exhaustion drags at him. He’s pushed too hard, maybe beyond his ability to endure, and feels weary down to the bone. He’s survived two years of combat, trauma, and stress, and when he wakes he will have to risk more. He’s responsible for the fate of the universe, and, in this moment, it seems an unbearable burden.

Black comes to him, immense against the roiling cosmic soup of the sky. She’s strong enough for the both of them. It’s not as comforting as perhaps she intends; rather than hope, Shiro sees that the future requires her implacable strength, and he’s just. So tired.

Black makes a disgruntled sound. Shiro can’t help but gape as shimmers run across her body, obscuring her in a white glow. Her shape changes, shrinks, becomes more compact until she’s just a bit taller than Shiro. When the shimmers fade she looks like a huge panther, blacker than the sky. Her armor is gone.

It feels disrespectful to think of her like an Earth cat in any way, but he can’t help it. Especially when she butts her head into his chest and knocks him down. It startles him but doesn’t hurt, so he crosses his legs under him and waits to see what happens next. Maybe some kind of training or memory-sharing. Instead, she curls herself around him. Shiro freezes, an instinctive response to being hemmed in by giant predator. How strange for _that_ to seem more alarming than her being a ten thousand-year-old sentient robot spaceship.

She sends feelings of reassurance, contentment and comfort down their bond and Shiro finally understands that she wants him to rest.

He leans back. She’s a warm wall of muscle, unbothered by the weight of his astral body—and how that even works, he doesn’t know; what part of him is even sensing all of this—

There’s a flash of yellow as her eyes glow, and Shiro swallows. Right. Now is not the time. He settles against her. It’s beautiful here, an expanse of sunset strewn with constellations. Only the clouds keep it from being an infinite starscape. It’s easy to slip into a soft, hazy state where his thoughts wander but none of them seem important enough to engage. He drifts.

*

Shiro dreams that the Black Lion returns to the hangar, empty. And Keith opens it to find Shiro gone. 

“Keith!”

Shiro opens his eyes. It’s impossible to tell how much time has passed. He’s in the same position, leaned against the Black Lion’s smaller cat form. The astral landscape is unchanged. “Was that a dream?” 

The Lion's eyes glow. It's an invitation. She waits patiently for Shiro to breathe and focus, then lets him see through her eyes. Black is in the hangar, watching all of the Paladins enter. Shiro is relieved to see them together and unhurt until he notices their dispirited mood. Something bad has happened.

"So, who goes first?" Hunk asks.

Shiro doesn't know what they're squabbling about, but the unexpected edge of tension between them adds to his worry. Their discussion ends with Allura entering the Lion and sitting in the pilot seat. Shiro really wishes he understood what's going on.

Black is very interested in Allura. Allura's mind appeals, rich with knowledge, strong in leadership. Allura is brave; her heart is kind; and the Black Lion is considering—

"You want Allura to be your pilot?" Shiro almost falls out of their link. "But why? I'm your pilot. And we've bonded, we're more connected than any of the other Paladins..." Damn, he must be really hurt, if they're trying to sub in another pilot. Maybe he's in a coma.

Shiro doesn't know if Black has feelings or if she draws on the experiences of her pilots to communicate emotion, but the sensation he gets from her is unmistakably sadness. She allows Shiro to access her memories of the battle with Zarkon.

Shiro watches himself die.

He watches the energy blast disintegrate his body from the inside out; Black's desperate leap to salvage Shiro's mind; Black returning to the Castle.

No. He has to be dreaming. He's in a healing pod, badly injured, of course he'd dream that he died. He worries about the team constantly, so it makes sense for them to be in the dream, too. And the whole magical astral plane Lion connection? Obvious wish fulfillment. She turned into a cat he could snuggle, for the gods' sake. How could that really happen? Shiro barely notices Allura leave, or Pidge and Hunk's turn messing around in the cockpit.

Shiro sighs. The thing is, he's spent the last two years learning how vast the universe is, how wondrous, how unexpected and strange. Believing he's dreaming is too simple a solution for the the way his life has turned out so far.

The Lion doesn't comment. She's focused on Lance, who's now in the pilot seat. She's amused.

This doesn't feel like a dream. It's confusing, being merged with the Lion like this, but his mind is awake and alert. Shiro runs through the most complex trajectory calculation he can think of, and he reaches the answer without losing a single step. He and Keith used to joke about being able to do the math in their sleep, but he doesn't think it works that way. Dreams are never this vivid.

Keith walks into the cockpit and the way he carries himself is all wrong. He looks like he's moving through molasses, his shoulders stooped. He settles into the pilot's chair with a sigh. "I know you wanted this for me, Shiro. But I'm not you. I can't lead them like you."

It's the quaver in Keith's voice that convinces him. Shiro has never heard Keith sound like that, ever. He'd never dream this.

Fuck.

Shiro longs to put his hand on Keith's shoulder, to pull him into the hug it sounds like Keith desperately needs. "Please," Shiro says to Black. "I have to talk to him."

She sends him an incomprehensible burst of what he can only assume is quantum mechanics. Shiro understands none of it, but he can tell it's a no. She's focused on Keith.

Shiro senses how she weighs Keith's qualities, his quick decisions against his quick temper, his skill as a pilot against his weaknesses with people. She shuffles through Keith's memories, but Shiro isn't privy to those, catching only fleeting impressions from the cornucopia of emotions pouring past. Shiro feels her moving through Keith's mind, seeking his most fundamental and private places, but Shiro doesn't know how to follow. Or if he should.

The Black Lion sees to the heart of Keith, and Shiro gets a searing sense of it, the hot core of rage that fuels Keith while concealing a deeply-rooted loneliness, a vast longing that Shiro feels like an ache in his chest.

Shiro thought he knew Keith well—and from a human perspective, he does—but he hadn't known this. It's hard to catch his breath. He should have known how much his friend was suffering. Should have spent more time with him. Should have made sure Keith knew how much Shiro values him.

The Lion has apprehended Keith in his entirety. Shiro can't take it in, as much as he wishes he could, but he perceives Keith's complexity, how all of Keith's parts weave into a unique shape. It comforts Shiro a little to see that Keith's pain is only part of what made him. Keith's soul, through the Black Lion's eyes, is beautiful.

The Lion stops. Shiro's shoulders tense. What will she decide? Will Keith be her next pilot?

Black answers by projecting Keith's current mental state to Shiro. Keith's in a fog—his thoughts, his connections, his senses—everything muted by the constant ache of grief. He's drowning in it, sinking into a dark abyss, mind and soul faltering under the crushing pressure of it.

Shiro reels. It gets worse: Keith believes that he has nothing left, his loss an open wound that's bleeding out. The only thing keeping him going, the only reason he can breathe, is his determination to find Shiro.

But Shiro is dead.

Shiro has watched Keith survive incredible things through sheer willpower, everything from becoming the top-ranked pilot in his class, to taking on Zarkon in single combat, to fighting waves of warriors in the Marmora trials, but this isn't a thing Keith's tenacity can win. The Lion predicts what Keith can't admit: that when the search fails, however many months in the future, Keith will find the best way to sacrifice himself for the team, will take one last reckless risk.

"No," Shiro breathes. Shiro isn't worth this. But when has Keith ever changed course once he's committed to it? "Choose him," Shiro says desperately. "I know he has some rough edges, but I've always seen his potential. I know you see it too."

She's listening.

"He's a great pilot, and he'll grow into the rest." The last comes out on a sob. "Give him something to live for." _Don't make me watch it happen._

All of the controls and displays light up. Keith gasps. He says, low and anguished, "Please, no."

The Black Lion roars out her approval of her new Paladin. Shiro, nearly shaking with relief, watches Keith gather himself and exit the cockpit.


End file.
